Choose
by T2 Angel
Summary: Spike Spiegel fell at the Red Dragon Headquarters. So, why are people from his past now confronting him over the choices he has made? One-shot.


**A/N: So, this one is not part of the trilogy I did before but a separate story idea that just popped into my head. I hope you guys like it!  
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 **Choose**

He remembered being shot, he remembered being sliced, he remembered bleeding, he remembered his vision blurring, he remembered walking down the steps, he remembered smiling, he remembered saying "Bang," and he remembered passing out.

Spike Spiegel remembered dying.

But when he opened his eyes, he was back on the roof where Julie died. He looked down and found a dying Julia being cradled in his arms as her blood dripped on the roof of the store.

Like before, he couldn't speak.

Julia struggled to, wearily opening her eyes and declaring, "It's all a… dream…"

"Yeah," Spike replied to Julia, "just a dream."

He blinked and saw Vicious. He looked around and he was in the penthouse of the Red Dragon HQ building.

Vicious grinned at him, "I told you before, Spike: I'm the only one who can kill you and set you free."

Spike growled.

"Spike…"

He gasped. That voice was new but he knew it all too well. "Faye?"

He looked around and the area around him was all black. He kept looking and finally saw the purple haired woman in her usual attire, holding her favorite gun.

He looked back at her, scoffed and smirked. "You're a little late, if you wanna shoot me." The last memory of collapsing on the steps of the Red Dragon Headquarters came to mind. "I'm pretty sure I'm already dead."

She aimed the gun at him.

"Gonna do it, anyway?" He gave a quick chuckle, "Just like you, Faye: you play the game by your rules."

She fired at him but, at the last second, aimed the gun above his head, similar to the last time they talked on the _Bebop_.

"Why?" she asked.

Spike gasped, quietly. And, if he didn't know better, he swore he could see tears in her eyes.

"Why did you leave?"

"What?"

"Why wasn't I enough?"

"Enough? What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." She turned away.

"Funny," Julia's voice rang behind Spike, causing him to turn around suddenly. She was standing there with the same sad smile on her face. "Funny little Valentine."

"She cared about you," Vicious said. Spike turned to see him, scowling as always. "We tried to kill you."

"I was suppose to," Julia said.

"I nearly succeeded," Vicious added.

"But she never did," Julia and Vicious said in unison.

Spike looked at them, "So, what?"

"So, you left," Faye said.

Spike looked back at her.

"So, you left me. You left Jet. You left our home."

Spike looked down at the ground.

"It wasn't enough. We could've run away. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't perfect. Not perfect enough for you. But there's no such thing as perfect."

"Not in this life," Julia added.

"Not for people like us," Vicious mused.

"And you didn't believe coming after me would be perfect, did you?" Julia walked to stand in front of Spike. "Did you?"

He stared at her. "I… I thought it could be. I had to try. I owed you that."

"And what did you owe me?" Vicious asked.

"Nothing." He stared hatred at him. "I tried to apologize."

"Hmm. And how'd that work for you?"

"What do all of you want from me?! What do you want?!"

"For you to realize the truth," Vicious and Julia said in unison.

"What truth?!"

"Maybe you woke up a long time ago," Faye said.

He looked at her, out of breath and terrified.

"Maybe you were always awake," Mao's voice came from behind him.

Spike spun around to see Mao and Annie standing next to him.

"But it wasn't the life you wanted," Annie said.

"You believed in an ending to this story that you just couldn't have," Mao added.

"You knew you couldn't have it."

"But you fought for it," Julia, Vicious, Annie, and Mao all said at the same time. "You even closed the door to as close to a good ending as you could get. And it was right in front of you."

"Sorry," Faye said.

Spike looked at her.

She looked into his eyes then turned around. "I'm sorry… I wasn't enough." She started to walk away.

"Faye? Faye! Faye, hold on!"

"You couldn't wake up if wasn't the way you wanted. I tried living that way. See how it worked for me. Do you now see… how it worked for you?"

"Faye! Wait a sec! Faye!"

But it was too late. She was gone. Then, everyone else slowly faded away.

And he was alone again. Spike clutched his head. What was happening? How is this happening? He settled things, right? This pain should be gone. It should all be alright, now. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. He wasn't supposed to be cared about by anyone except Julia.

"Life never turns out the way we want it to, kid."

Spike's eyes went wide. He'd know that voice anywhere.

"I told you that before. That's the first thing I learned in this life. The second thing? We are never alone as we think we are."

Spike turned around to see a man approaching.

"We're always going to be missed by more people than we think. Unfortunately, we only realize it too late."

Spike's eyes went wide. "You…"

"Hey, kid. Been a long time."

"What the hell?"

"How are ya?"

He looked him over. A full head of grey hair and middle aged features adorned this man along with distinguishing feature. "Still in that damn red suit."

"You should talk." He walked around the cowboy, "For all of your attempts to not be like me, you ended doing just that."

"Shut your damn mouth! I'm not a damn thing like you."

"Really? Syndicates, lost love, a rival who wanted you dead, similar clothing style." The man stopped and paused. "Neglecting the very people that matter to you the most."

"That you're in expert in."

"Yeah. Turns out you're a great student in that class."

Spike just growled.

"Hey, don't get mad at me! Jet was a more loyal friend than Vicious ever was! And you cast him aside to go settle a score that you should've just left alone!"

"You're one to talk!"

"Exactly! You just repeated every mistake that you _knew_ ended badly! You threw everything away!"

"I was trying to settle my past!"

"And threw away your future!"

"Then I guess I am just like you!"

"I didn't make this decision for you! You chose it! You! You decided to cast aside everything that you had because it didn't matter!"

"It did…"

"Don't you stand there and lie to me! If it mattered, you never would've gone to face Vicious in the first place!"

"They mattered! That's the other reason I had to go after the syndicate! You think Vicious wouldn't have come after them?! Just to get to me?! He would've killed them!"

The man smirked. "So, you do care about them."

Spike rolled his eyes and exhaled, willing to concede this one point. "Yes."

"Even though you're the cat who never much cared for its owners?"

"They didn't own me."

"Exactly."

Spike calmed down, rubbing his head.

"You weren't alone, Spike. You couldn't be. They cared about you… more than you let yourself see. They still do."

"No. I ditched them. They can't care about me like that anymore."

"Saying that doesn't make it true." He took a step toward Spike. "Jet is a good friend. He'd argue that you were a fool, which you were and are…"

Spike rolled his eyes.

"…and let you back on the ship."

Spike smirked. "Yeah. Yeah, Jet's a good person like that."

"He is." The man was silent for a second. "And Faye?"

Spike sobered, quickly. "What about her?"

"You love her."

"No, I don't. I love Julia."

"You love both."

"What are you even talking about?"

"It's why you told Faye anything about yourself. Julia dying freed you on some level."

Spike's scowled at him, "Screw you, old man."

The man took a second to think about how he said that. "I didn't say that to hurt you, kid. I did that enough."

"Damn right."

"But you know I'm telling the truth."

"No, you're not. I don't love Faye. She's irritating, she's crass, and she dresses like a… well, anyway."

"And lie to me and tell me you haven't peaked more than once."

"That's not the point!"

"But you have done it."

"Whatever. Looking at a sexy woman doesn't mean I love her."

"But pouring out your heart and soul to her does."

"I have never…"

"You told her about your eye. It took three years to tell Jet."

Spike couldn't respond right away.

"You told her about how you feel about not coming back when you fought the clown."

The cowboy rolled his eyes.

"And don't even tell me that you didn't find it, just a little surprising, that she was watching over you after Vicious nearly killed you." The red suit man paused. "The first time."

Spike huffed. "I don't love Faye."

"Fine. Keep lying to yourself. I'm sure it'll get easier. That's worked so well in the past. For us both. Right?"

Spike growled, "And, even if I did, which I'm not saying I do, what does it matter? I'm dead. This is obviously a dream or me losing the last of my sanity."

"Then why was Faye here?"

"I don't know! She's the last person I saw on the _Bebop_! I don't know! It doesn't even matter! I'm dying! This is just a dream!"

"Is it? Or is it something more?"

"This isn't some ghost story. You're dead and this is just me trying to accept being dead."

"You've always accepted being dead, kid. Hell, some days, you prefer it."

"So, what is this, then?"

The man gave a coy smile. He said nothing else.

After a minute of silence, Spike wanted to stay angry but he started laughing. He should've realized sooner that he wasn't going to get a straight answer. That had been their relationship for a good portion of their lives. "All this time and you are still such an asshole."

"I have to be. It's how you remember me. And how I was."

Spike groaned and shook his head. "So, what is this? Really? I've seen Vicious, Julia, Annie, Mao, and now… you. What do you really want?"

The man put his hands in his pockets. "This isn't about me. This is about you. This is your chance to choose, kid."

"Choose?"

"Choose."

"Choose what?"

"To live or die."

"I thought that choice was made since I'm riddled with bullet holes and sword slices."

"Such a damn cynic. Were you always this way?"

"Mainly because of you."

The man's left eyebrow twitched. "Ouch."

"Truth hurts."

The man waved that off. "Do you want to live?"

Spike scoffed. "What the hell is worth going back for?"

"If you, honestly, felt that question was valid, you wouldn't still be thinking about it."

Spike clenched his jaw, not wanting to admit that he was still trying to figure this out. "No money."

"But excitement."

"Hardly ever any food."

"Makes you appreciate when you do have it even more."

"There's gonna be a lotta pain. Physical and otherwise."

"That's a part of life."

"My past is gone."

"The future is just ahead of you."

"No friends."

"Now, you're just full of crap."

Spike chuckled.

"And a woman waiting for you."

"She doesn't care about me."

"If she didn't, she wouldn't have shot at you." He walked up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. "And, despite your best intentions to convince yourself otherwise, you are in love with her."

Spike just stared at the man. He thought about denying but, to his surprise, declared, "I'm never telling her."

"Sure you will. It'll just take a while. Or whenever you see her wearing less than what she usually does."

"She couldn't wear less if she tried."

The man smugly smiled. "Don't bet on that."

Spike thought everything over. "Maybe life isn't the best, even sucks in some areas." He kept letting all aspects swirl in his head. "But… I did have fun." He came to his conclusion and accepted what he really wanted. He nodded, "I want to go back. I want to live."

"Good. Why?"

Spike didn't get defensive. He didn't catch an attitude. He simply sighed. "Because my past is over. There's no going back." He looked down, "There never was. No matter how much I wanted to." He looked up. "I want to stop living in the past and move forward. I want to see what else is out there. What else is waiting for me."

The man walked up to Spike and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Now, that's what I'm talking about."

Spike smiled.

"Sounds like you're all grown up, Spike Spiegel."

"Did it just to spite you, Seth Spiegel."

"Don't be a wise ass to your old man."

"They don't come much older."

Seth chuckled. He patted his shoulder. "Time to wake up, son."

"Wait."

"Yeah?"

"Was this all just a dream? Or… was I really dead for a second there?"

Letting out a light chuckle, Seth just smiled as he slowly started to fade away. "Who's to say, Spike? Who's to say?"

After Seth was gone, Spike started to slowly lose consciousness as he felt the sensation of his heart beat.

* * *

Spike opened his eyes and felt his body his numb but his eyes were hurting like he hadn't opened them in days, which was probably the case. ' _Well, I know I'm not dead,_ ' he thought to himself. ' _I doubt the afterlife would need florescent lights._ ' He turned his head a bit and saw a certain purple haired woman leaning on his bed, asleep. What caught Spike off-guard was that she was holding his hand. ' _She's here._ ' He groaned as he tried to move to find that it was ridiculously difficult right now.

But his stirring caused her to slowly wake up. She looked up at him and her eyes went wide. "Spike?" she whispered.

"Hey, Faye," he flashed a small smile. "What's going on?"

Faye couldn't stop herself from crying. "Spike…" She moved up and hugged him.

Spike was a little surprised by the action but, remembering his experience, he couldn't even maintain that feeling; somehow, he felt that this was coming. He didn't fight this nor make any kind of snide comment. Much to his surprise, this simple action felt really good. He simply closed his eyes and exhaled, letting this new feeling take him over.

"You're such an idiot," Faye breathed out. "You are such a damned idiot."

He smirked. "Yeah, I am."

She just exhaled, shakily. "Welcome back."

He chuckled. "Glad to be here."

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 **A/N: REVIEWS, PLEASE!**


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